Sweet Root Beer-Flavored Recovery

While visiting a friend, he started to cough. He excused himself and grabbed a Root Beer Barrel candy. I said.."I like those things."

Next day I popped in for another visit. Wasn't there a few minutes when he plopped a Root Beer Barrel down in front of me, saying, "I should have given you this yesterday when you said you liked these. Kept me up last night that I didn't."

Immediately I felt a rush of gratitude. That little piece of candy tasted sweeter than sweet and oh so good when I popped it in my mouth when I pulled out of the driveway a little while later.

All I could think was how wonderful it is that God has brought into my life people who listen to me and hear what I say and seek to make good on what they hear. And how wonderful it is that I can accept a kind gesture like this and appreciate it fully. Praise the Lord for the balance in give and take that I'm enjoying lately.

Praise the Lord for sending people who offer me what I crave the most in life...my love language -- time and attentiveness. Lately I feel like someone who has a fat book of tickets for one hour massages at the best spas in the world. I've been spending quality time with wonderful people and we are being a blessing to each other. Even times when I wish I were somewhere else hours ago, he'll send someone along that I know He held me behind so I could meet them or pray with them or learn from them. I sort of know that I'm right where I'm supposed to be these days.

.....Today I realized that I'd missed an appointment I'd set up with someone in the morning yesterday. While the urge to send an e-mail apology was great, I did what I knew would be in God's will and called to apologize. He was gracious as could be and offered to meet again . . . in the afternoon! I was and wasn't surprised all at the same time. At another time in my life, I think I'd have expected a cross reply, and sort of thought I might get one, but he was so nice and it sort of still hurt to be forgiven for such a small thing. But I'm learning to accept others' forgiveness...so I think I'm getting more of it.

Truly, God's Will for my life is a place. It's a place where I've found my deepest prayers for my life answered. He is providing me things I've always tried harder than I could ever explain to you to provide for myself. Granted, I have to do things that often make no sense to me, or go against my gut instinct to get them, but when I do what I'm prompted to do, I lack for nothing. My bills are being paid almost against all odds, I've spent huge amounts of quality time with old friends and new ones in the past few months and reconnected with family members I had little to no relationship with and found bridges to people who inspired me in my youth through pretty amazing pathways. I feel more confident than ever and I let go and let God whenever I feel panicky or frustrated and he steps in immediately and calms my fears and worries and gives me words or shuts my mouth and even enables me to explain myself when I get words out too fast sometimes. He enables me to have real relationships with ups and downs that stay intact even when I disappoint someone or they disappoint me. Lots more work needs to be done there, but the improvement is breathtaking to me.

If you've ever seen a backwards movie or video, this is how it feels for me lately. It's like the broken pieces of a smashed to pieces mannequin that was me are floating back together and turning into a living, breathing person with a smile on her face and hope in her heart a lot of the time. Not all the time, but more and more of it.

Thank you Lord for providing me with people who have time for me and who have listened to me, talked to me and fed me and prayed for me lately. Thanks for making the changes in me that have enabled them into my life and enabled me to finally make a doorway for them. Please help me to be a blessing back to all of them and those who you have headed this way. I praise you for this work you've done in my life. Amen

Annie Quicksilver