Oh Lord, Lord, Lord

When there's nothing else that can be done, prayer fills the spaces that feel like they might swallow me whole.
When I came out of the numb, God brought richness and depth to replace the intensity I used to accept as "feeling."
In recent months, He's offered me friendships I'd not trade for the most perfect of diamonds, smiles that melt my frowns, long talks that linger like the coals of a campfire, sadness that sinks in deep and feels for a time and a little longer, laughter that echoes off the walls of the background of all the places I go, frustration that teaches me the utter beauty of patience, closeness that hurts less and less every day, honesty that isn't said but is demonstrated instead, equality with others that makes words flow back and forth like the tide, people who laugh with me when I even just look at them or say one word, people I really can depend upon and who really can depend upon me, people to get angry with and make-up with and still love each other despite our differences, imperfectness and global disasters that I must digest yet remain able to move on -- confident that He's in control.

It's been so, so, so good.

But this week, brought a blow to a friend that still lingers in my gut. A networking friend I met about 4 years ago, who I'd finally had a chance to have lunch with two weeks ago and celebrate her soon to be new, first child, lost her 34 year old husband in his sleep on Monday.

The numb beckons and I am having difficulty processing it all. I don't feel sorry for me, I ache for her and the families. Both worked for a non-profit that helps the poor and exploited here in Florida and had been on many mission trips to places outside the U.S. The richness of the joy and love in the photos of them posted on his memorial page is tangibly overwhelming never mind the of the circumstances.

How will she cope? How will she stop crying? How will it all work out? I hate when bad things happen to good people that have dedicated their lives to making the world a better place for ALL of us. And I am asking, "Why, God, WHY?????"

Please pray for Ashby and Spencer and their baby and their families. Please utter a word of mercy for her as you read this. Send love to her. And cherish all God's given you today and all you have lost but were blessed enough to experience for the time you were able to experience it, or them.

I noticed today that when I focus on my problems, I just miss all the blessings around me. I was so tired tonight, but went to The Bridge Youth Center to volunteer as I usually do. It was such a huge blessing. Hugs, conversations, new friends, kids smiling and laughing and showing their talents to each other in the talent show. It's a tiny spot in the universe. . . almost imperceptible in size relatively speaking...but it was a place that fed me tonight a meal that rejuvenated my soul and spirit.

Spencer was volunteering for the organization that his wife had taken a job with. They lived in a small trailer and lived happy and free in God's will for their lives. His smile, according to the pictures, is as big as they said at the memorial service. A happy, happy, happy man with a lovely, happy, happy, happy wife. Givers both. Special enough that I always remembered her after meeting her years ago during a Q&A mixer at the networking group we both attended.

I don't know why God called Spencer home at this time. It makes NO SENSE AT ALL from this side of eternity. But I for one, do not intend to let his passing be in vain. I never met him, only his wife. But his legacy's lit a fire in me and I pray that God will feed it and tend it and make it glow for His glory in the days, weeks, and years to come.

And we know that in all things, God works for good for those who love Him and are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

Annie Quicksilver
2-14-2010

All For The Best -- From Godspell

[Jesus]
When you feel sad, or under a curse
Your life is bad, your prospects are worse
Your wife is crying, sighing...
And your olive tree is dying,
Temples are graying, and teeth are decaying
And creditors weighing your purse...

Your mood and your robe
Are both a deep blue
You'd bet that Job
Had nothin' on you...

Ahhhhhhhh...Don't forget that when you go to
Heaven you'll be blessed..
Yes, it's all for the best...

[Judas]

Some men are born to live at ease, doing what they please,
Richer than the bees are in honey
Never growing old, never feeling cold
Pulling pots of gold from thin air

The best in every town, best at shaking down
Best at making mountains of money
They can't take it with them, but what do they care?

They get the center of the meat, cushions on the seat
Houses on the street where it's sunny..
Summers at the sea, winters warm and free
All of this and we get the rest...

But who is the land for? The sun and the sand for?
You guessed! It's all for the best...

[Both]

You must never be distressed

Yes, it's all for the....

All your wrongs will be redressed

Yes, it's all for the....

Someone's got to be oppressed!

Yes, it's all for the best!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIR3XFuY4Qs&feature=related

Thanks Trololo Cat...you made my day!

Ode to the Litterbox

Oh, Litter box
Your voice is heard through my nose
Dread surrounds your perimeter to
most all without fur and whiskers

You beckon them, but not I,
at least not until the pine pellets
changed our relationship,
and gravelly dust hit the road
You are softer and sweeter these days,
but there is no less dig, dig, dig

Do you feel ripped off that I feed the
kits such good food that they only leave
little brown cigar stubs in you?
Do you wish you were at a grocery store-fed
kitty's house so your mission in life were
more fulfilled?

Smooth plastic, small house of furry privacy
We meet every night, on each other we can count
You cost too much, but you are not evil
No, in fact, you are a chore I choose to do in love
for the little feet that pounce and play 'round here all day.


Annie Quicksilver
5-10-2010